Live Free Learn Free

New Blog Site

2005-08-27T18:10:00.000-07:00

I'm moving the blog to the Live Free Learn Free site. See you there!

-Shana

One Family at a Time

2005-08-26T22:09:00.000-07:00

There are more and more unschooling blogs out there. Maybe because there are more and more unschoolers. I don't know this for a fact - nobody keeps a log of the number of unschoolers - but it certainly seems that way to me. The e-lists are growing. The number of books on unschooling is increasing. More and more people seem to be coming into discussions with an already fairly clear idea of what unschooling entails. This is wonderful!

I remember that spark, that a-ha! moment, when I first read about unschooling. Kenzie was little - maybe 2.5 or 3. I had stumbled upon the phrase "attachment parenting" somewhere, and, after realizing that this was basically what I had been doing for the past few years, I began searching for AP sites on the Internet. It wasn't long before I came across the word "unschooling," which led me to a few articles written by John Holt. I remember thinking, "Duh," after reading only the most rudimentary definition (if it can be called that) of unschooling - that kids learn best when they are interested in learning, when they pursue learning on their own, in their own time. I knew this. Of course I knew this. I had seen it in my own life over and over. It made perfect sense. Within 10 seconds, I had made up my mind: Kenzie and I would be unschoolers. I searched the Internet for more information, joined a discussion list, bought a few books off eBay, and excitedly turned the possibilities over and over in my mind.

Several years later, it's not something I think about in such an excited way anymore. It's simply the way we live our lives. In the beginning, it was amazing to contemplate the idea that Kenzie wouldn't actually have to attend school. Now, I can't even imagine him in school. Heck, I can't quite remember how I got through school, myself. Unschooling is, for us, normal. It's schooling that's foreign. What would it be like to have to wake Kenzie up early so he could catch the bus? Or nag him about his homework? Or have parent-teacher meetings? Or contemplate Ritalin? Or worry about the TAKS test (mandated by NCLB)? What would it be like to live with a child who spent such a huge part of his life in a prison-like place where he wasn't allowed to speak or even go to the bathroom without first asking permission; where brand names were the end-all, be-all; where age segregation, socio-economic segregation, and even racial segregation were the order of the day; where cliques ruled; where people who hardly knew him tracked and graded him? What would my child be like? Who would he become? I can't imagine.... I don't want to imagine....

In any case, more people seem to be discovering unschooling. Thank goodness. Once the general public understands that homeschooling can be more than little desks and a big chalkboard in the dining room where Mom is the teacher and Dad is the principal (spelled P-A-L because the principal is your pal - nevermind that most principals are the ones doing the paddling) - once unschooling gains some well-deserved respect - then we will be a huge step closer to true educational choice. It's not a choice if you don't know about it. But, because unschooling is spreading into more and more communities, it's only a matter of time.

Rethinking Education

2005-08-22T12:25:00.000-07:00

We're gearing up for the Rethinking Education conference Labor Day weekend. It will be my first unschooling conference, and I'll be hosting a workshop/roundtable discussion on entrepreneuring unschoolers. I'll be the first to admit, I don't have a heck of a lot of know-how about most of the businesses homeschooling families enter into. I know the magazine - what it took to get here, the ins and outs of publishing, etc. - but that's about it. But, I'm researching. And, since I'm mearly a facilitator, I don't need to be an expert in all areas of entrepreneurship. I'll bring my own experiences into the discussion, as well as what I've found out in my reasearch. I'll most likely bring in a handout or two, as well. Should be an interesting afternoon.

Also, Friday evening, I'll have a table at which I can sell the magazine. I'm not sure how the conference is set up, but hopefully I won't be stuck in a little room somewhere. We'll see. I'll have magazines with me throughout the conference, so conference goers should be able to recognize me. There are so many wonderful unschooling families I've talked with only via email, and it would be wonderful to actually meet some of them in person.

I'm looking forward to seeing Peter Kowalke's Grown Without Schooling documentary. It's something I've been meaning to watch for a few years, now, so I hope that the workshop and the documentary don't overlap (he discusses the documentary in his LFLF article about college here). I'm also interested in hearing Pat Farenga talk about knowing John Holt, and I can't wait to see Holt's 1981 Phil Donahue appearance. Unfortunately, Linda Dobson won't be speaking until Sunday, and in order to get Terry back to work in time, we'll have to miss it. Oh, well. Can't have it all....

Kenzie and Terry decided they would rather spend the weekend visiting DFW museums and such. They've chosen the Fort Worth Museum of Science and History, and they're trying to decide between the Ft. Worth Zoo or the museums at Fair Park (The Science Place, the Dalls Zoo's Aquarium, and the Dallas Museum of Natural History, as well as many others). In any case, I know they'll have a blast. They don't usually spend much time alone together, so this will be a special trip for them. And, I'll be able to focus solely on the conference, itself. I'm a very hands-on parent, and I know I'd be spending a good deal of time in the kids' area, missing most of the speakers.

If anyone reading this will be attending Friday or Saturday, drop me a line. I'd love to meet you!

Woodstock

2005-08-21T15:38:00.000-07:00

VH1Classic has been playing a Woodstock marathon all weekend. This, I think, is my fifth time watching it in two days. Well, mostly, it's been on in the background, though I take a break from whatever I'm doing to watch my favorites (and I have lots of favorites).

When I was a kid, my parents bought the movie on vhs. Through the years, I watched it dozens of times, wishing I had been there, wishing it were 1969. I was the town's token hippie in the late 1980s and early 1990s, and I took comfort in the interviews with concert goers, the interesting fashions, the music, and the peacefulness of it all.

I still take comfort in it today. It reminds me of my childhood like almost nothing else can. I've found that I had memorized every line, every inflection, and the movie gives me a warm feeling, even now. Over the years, I've seen Joan Baez, CSN&Y, Arlo, and others in concert. I've found people with whom I connect. I've settled into myself. But, it still makes me smile to watch John Sebastian forget lyrics or Stephen Stills tell the audience he and the rest of CSNY were "scared s***less." I still love to see Richie Haven's long fingers and Joan Baez's face light up when she touches her pregnant belly, and I can't help but grin while watching the mud sliders.

I grew up with this music, and I embraced it as my own. How can a kid rebel against The Grateful Dead, The Rolling Stones, Simon and Garfunkel, CSN&Y, Dylan, Joni Mitchell? I'm fairly certain the only way would include listening to Tom Jones - something I wasn't remotely prepared to do. So, I've ended up with a modified version of my parents' tastes.

I wonder what sort of music Kenzie will end up being passionate about. He can often be heard humming "Mrs. Robinson" around the house, and he used to have small crushes on Nanci Griffith and Shawn Colvin, and Sara Watkins from Nickel Creek. Still, though, he was enamored with Elton John for a time, mostly because of the showy costumes, I think (and his appearance on The Muppet Show). I've never been a big Elton John fan, but I've learned to appreciate him. Kenzie also enjoys the song "1985" by Bowling for Soup. He hears it on the local alternative station, and I have to keep myself from visably cringing each time he begins singing it. I knew those guys. After much begging on their part, I finally gave them a pitty appearance at the coffeeshop I owned about eight years ago. All their songs sounded alike, and I just wasn't impressed. Sigh.... Yes, these are the people they nominate for Grammies.

Anyway, singing is one of Kenzie's passions, and in that way, he's much like I am. He sings for hours at a time. In fact, he's singing right now, along with Sly and the Family Stone. Yes, my little one is singing "I Want to Take You Higher." He sings all day long, sometimes making up his own tunes, almost always making up his own lyrics. I can't wait to see what lyrics he adds to the "...Higher" tune over the next few days....

Yellowjacket

2005-08-19T19:04:00.000-07:00

Kenzie was stung this evening by a yellow jacket. Twice. He and his friend were going from house to house asking neighbors if they'd like the newspapers in their yard to be recycled when he ran into the little sucker on someone's porch. He sprinted home screaming . Luckily, we had insect sting wipes in the first aid kit, Neosporin with pain relief, bandaids and children's ibuprofen. He was very brave - much braver than I would have been.

We had been worried that he might be allergic to yellowjackets and wasps like his father, but it appears (thank goodness) that he isn't. Just some redness and very mild swelling. I've never been stung by anything more than a fire ant, and I've never actually seen a sting on another person, so I asked Terry to make sure everything looked normal. He assured me that it did.

Kenzie's watching television and eating a late dinner. He seems amazingly fine with it all.

Neurotic Dog

2005-08-13T10:36:00.000-07:00

Oscar the Happy Dog has a tendency to fixate on things. If he loses a toy under a piece of furniture, he will spend hours trying to retrieve it. He also has irrational fears. For a few years now, he's been afraid of his water bowl. He knows he has to drink, so he gathers his courage, stands as far away as possible, and cautiously drinks as quickly as he can. And even then, his legs tremble, and he often has to jerk away several times and start over. Changing the bowl doesn't work. Changing the bowl's location doesn't work. Nobody knows why he's so afraid of drinking water.

Over the past few days, he's developed a new fear: leaving the bedroom. He'll sit at the doorway and whine for an hour. He can get about two steps out, but that's it. Then, he's frozen. I can coax him out, but this morning when I did so, he was so anxious, he peed as he crossed that threshold. Poor guy. Why this new fear? I'm clueless. Strangely, he can walk into the bedroom just fine. It's only walking the other way that frightens him....

He's a fun dog, though - more energetic than most, and a great lover of the game of fetch. He even catches things in mid-air most of the time. He loves to play with Kenzie, and he follows me from room to room. He looks exactly like a giant dachshund, and you can read every emotion on his face. He and Alaska (or "Laska"), our other wonderful mutt, get along fabulously.

Now, if I could only convince him that nothing bad will happen when he leaves the bedroom....

Kenzie and Oscar a few years ago (both a bit bigger, now).

Jumping In

2005-08-08T11:55:00.000-07:00

I guess I've just needed lots of projects recently in order to stay sane. I go through phases like that from time to time. And, since Kenzie got a Gameboy this week (for the most part, he's been playing Pokemon: "I may be a mere child," I just heard him say to the screen, "but my Pokemon are pretty strong"), I've spent most of my time working on the LFLF website. The subscription page is finally what I want it to be, and there are sample articles for each of the back issues. Instead of "Buy Now" buttons, there are "Add to Cart" buttons and such. Much more user-friendly.

When I started the magazine, I didn't know a thing about Dreamweaver. Or Photoshop. Or Pagemaker. I didn't know magazine layout. Or editor protocol. I didn't know anything about advertising. Or graphic design. Really, I just jumped in, blindly. I learned "on the job," so to speak. Some things Terry understood well - the programs, layout and design, etc. He taught me what he could, and I took over from there. He still designs the covers, and he draws the cartoons, but I do everything else. If someone had told me I'd be designing and publishing a website and magazine on my own, I'd have laughed. These weren't skills I thought I had.

However, the experience mirrors my belief in unschooling. Instead of studying website design and magazine publishing just in case I might want to pursue this path, I first developed an interest, then a passion. I dove in and decided what needed to be done. Then, I found knowledgable people, bought books, searched out information on the Internet. and figured the rest out on my own. I learned because I'm interested and I have a need to know.

I'm still working on it. Dreamweaver tables are simply not my thing. But, I've come a long way, and I have shiny, new webpages to prove it.

Indoor Jungle Gym

2005-07-27T13:50:00.000-07:00

Well, the group is off to a strong start! Over 100 members and 30 messages in just a few days. Though the resources pages at the website have taken a lot of work, it's so thrilling to see it all come together.

The inside-the-house part of the air conditoner is leaking, and I have no idea why. I've set up a large bowl underneath it, and if I can't figure out the problem by tomorrow, I'll have to notify the landlords - something I hate doing. Because I'm a very private person, renting is not an enjoyable experience for me. I hate letting landlords poke around my place.... Yes, I know it's their place, too, but it just feels so invasive.

On a happier note, it finally did rain. Several days, in fact. After almost a month without a drop, it was so refreshing! Plants stopped drooping, people seemed more content, and the sound of thunder was just splendid! Hopefully, we'll get a bit more this week....

Kenzie has been using the stair-stepper as a jungle gym. This machine is monsterous - big and white and made up of lots of sturdy metal bars and a rounded platic area just big enough to stand on. Yes, it's ugly, but it's fun! He's been climbing all over it and jumping off, over and over, in as many ways as he can come up with. Because we bought it used for $20, and because this thing was built solidly and simply, I'm certainly not worried about it getting rickety. And Kenzie's having a blast!

New Unschooling Resources Group

2005-07-24T22:33:00.000-07:00

I have just created a Yahoo group for the discussion of cool unschooling resources. After searching and searching, I was unable to find a place that gathered together all the most interesting games, books, websites, toys, movies, manipulatives, and whatnots for unschoolers. Every resource group I found (and there were only a few) were for general homeschoolers - not unschoolers. And, most of those lists had been dead for quite a while, taken over by His Royal Spamminess.

That said, I finally decided to create Unschooling Resources. I've also devoted several pages at the Live Free Learn Free website to listing the resources that members suggest. Here's the description from the Unschooling Resources group:

Found a great board game? Know when a cool show will be on? How about that awesome book your son just finished reading? Here's a place to share what you've found and to discover even more ways to feed your children's passions! Games (of all sorts), books, science equipment, websites, television shows, art supplies, toys, movies, math manipulatives, magazines, etc.... LOTS of etc!

Has your family developed a cool game using spoons, strawberry baskets and beanbags? Tell us about it! Found a great touring exhibit? Fallen in love with a comic book? Found the perfect crayon? Discovered a new science fiction series your daughter just can't get enough of? This is the place to post about it!

Also, if your child suddenly develops a passion for dinosaurs, astronomy, 1950s musicals, calculus, interior decorating, King Tut, Kiwi birds, dragons, or the Union army, this is the place to ask for resource suggestions!

What this group is NOT about: worksheets/workbooks, links to attendance sheets, gradebooks or planners, curriculum of any sort, discussions of home/unschooling theory, discussions of home/unschooling in general, advertising businesses, etc. There are many other lists devoted to these things.

The Joy of a Cheap Science Kit

2005-07-21T20:36:00.000-07:00

A week or so ago, I bought a Newton's Apple science kit (put out by Wild Goose) at a thrift store for a few dollars. I brought it out today, and Kenzie was intrigued. He was especially fond of mixing acetic acid (vinegar) and sodium bicarbonate (baking soda) as many times as he could. Amazingly, we'd never done that experiment before.

It was a cheap kit, but he enjoyed it thoroughly. The balloon car, the string and cup phone, the electromagnet, the fingerprint dusting - all of it. He was especially thrilled to own a test tube (plastic). Looks like I need to buy up a few real supplies from eBay. On a side note, I've been waiting to find a Magiscope for cheap, but after four years, I don't think it's going to happen. Maybe I should just bite the bullet....

Kenzie decided to pretend to be deaf, and then blind, today. We discussed sign language (we know a few random signs, and I can fingerspell), reading lips, and Braille (we have a Braille alphabet card that's quite cool. You can order one for free here or here).

Right now, he's listening to Eragon on tape. He's had the book for ages, but it must have seemed a bit daunting. Though he's read most of the Harry Potter series (he's on book 5), Eragon has been sitting on the shelf. But, when we found the book on tape at the library this morning, he grabbed it as quickly as he grabbed up several of Jeff Smith's Bone books. He's been in the bedroom with the door closed, holding his stuffed dragon, and listening for hours. An aside: The author of Eragon, Christopher Paolini, was a 15-year-old homeschooler when he began writing the book. You can listen to an interview with him (in which he discusses the book and his homeschooling) here.

Halloween in July

2005-07-16T20:58:00.000-07:00

Garage saling today, Kenzie bought a few rubber bats, a pack of plastic spiders, some "spider web" stringy stuff, and a scary skeleton puppet. When he got it all home, he set it up, dressed himself in a witch costume, and sang Halloweeny songs for hours. And in bed tonight, he read several spooky books about ghosts and UFOs and haunted houses. He's counting down the days until Halloween, choosing his costume, and planning a party (that will end early so everyone can go Trick or Treating, of course).

Kenzie's first Trick or Treating

No rain today

2005-07-14T21:18:00.000-07:00

Nope. None. After being surrounded for several hours by wonderful storms, we stayed totally dry. Oh, well.

I sent out the magazines today. It took longer than I'd anticipated - over 20 hours' worth of work - folding, stapling, organizing, labeling, stamping.... My palms are bruised from pressing down on the saddle stapler again and again. By the end, I was putting both hands on the stapler and pushing down on top of them with my forehead; my hands hurt to much to press down that hard on their own. But, I finally finished. It's such a relief to have them out the door and on their way. It's a wonderful issue, and I'm proud of it, but assembling it always takes so much out of me. I've decided that I'll have the printers do the next issue in its entirety (instead of only the covers) and assemble it. Yes, it will cost more, but not as much as I'd feared. It's just that it's become a little overwhelming for me to do on my own (not that that's a bad thing, necessarily). The house always falls apart, cleaning-wise, only adding to the stress-level, and Kenzie gets shortchanged.

He was happy to have his mother back today. We played indoor tennis (with paddles and a Nerf-like (but harder) ball) for quite a while this evening. I think he's been craving our time alone together. Over the past few days, I haven't been as available as usual. And when I was, I was kinda stressed, truthfully. He's done his best, finding things to play on his own, reading, marking the movies to watch, and trying to keep himself entertained because he knows I'm swamped, but, I'm really, really looking forward to having the printers do the bulk of it next time.

I treated myself to a nice dinner tonight in celebration of finishing Live Free Learn Free's first year of publication. Farmer's cheese and whole wheat crackers, rainier cherries, white wine, and thin Swedish ginger snaps. Mmmm....

Rain Update

2005-07-14T15:35:00.000-07:00

This is strange, but not overly surprising, somehow. For the past few hours, there have been storms - real storms - on every side of us - North, South, East and West. But here? Nothing. Not a drop. And, I don't mean these storms are miles and miles away. The dry area is a circle between five and ten miles in diameter. It's been this way all afternoon. Gray skies, crushing humidity, lightning all around us, and no rain. Sigh.... I have to go work on my dance, again.

Rain

2005-07-14T01:01:00.000-07:00

We've finally had a few short showers this week. It seems we've gone months without rain. Monday, Kenzie played in an evening shower. He put on his bathing suit and danced around the yard, calling to me every few minutes where I stood on the porch.

"Look at this brook!"
"I see worms!"
"I can control water! Watch! Abracadabra!"

The neighbors, all watching from their porches and garages, gave us strange looks. That's not unusual, though. We've garnered plenty of strange looks since moving here last year.

Today, we had a three-minute shower. Well, sprinkle, really. Sigh.... My whole body feels dry... thirsty.... I could never survive in a desert.

My dream home? Well, someone I once knew said something about living on an Oregon Beach: "Your front door opens to an ocean, and your back door to a forest." Yes, that's what I want. A rocky, cool beach littered with sea glass and driftwood, and a forest with towering, green trees.

Sadly, the only beach I've ever visited was the Gulf of Mexico (and only once), and the only forests I've seen have been the pine trees of East Texas. Not to discount East Texas pines. I grew up in far North Texas, and the only trees were mesquites - overgrown Mexican bushes with thorns. Because that's all we had, we used to "climb" them, and I still have those small, round scars to prove it. Those pine trees were amazing to me. It was hard to believe anything could grow so tall....

In any case, I'm doing my rain dance tonight. First, I'll have to come up with one, of course. But, I'm aching for rain. Real rain. Huge drops splashing against windows. Lightning. Thunder. Darkness in the middle of the day. That's the kind of rain I dream of....

Losing and Finding

2005-07-13T00:45:00.000-07:00

Last year, I lost a friend. Things just broke between us. I'm not someone who loses friends, really, and I've never quite made my peace with it. Probably, I never will. A big part of our six-or-so-year friendship was based on music, and when I hear something that this person would love, I feel guilty as all hell. Today, I discovered an amazing and utterly beautiful Graham Nash song from his first solo album. How I lived my life up to this point without this song astounds me. Music has a way of affecting me like few things can. A set of lyrics can bring tears again and again and again. Good harmonies cause a physical feeling like being on a roller coaster. Singing along often creates a ripple of shudders down my body, complete with goosebumps. Ask my mother, and she'd tell you this means I need to focus more on my guitar playing and songwriting. I should, I know. But, when I hear songs like this one - this simple, short song - I can't imagine being able to write anything even remotely comparable. Ever. It keeps me stagnant. Paul Simon, Suzanne Vega, Jonatha Brooke - I could never write like these people (and so, so many others). The weight of their incredible talent is crushing when I'm sitting with a guitar in my lap and a pad of paper on the table.

Anyway, finding this song is something I would have shared with this person in an emphatic, rambling email. Since I couldn't write that, I'm writing this.

Issue six...

2005-07-09T15:56:00.000-07:00

covers will come back from the printers' on Monday. Then, it's over twelve hours of folding, stapling, stamping, labeling, and mailing. Whew! I'm exhausted just thinking about it! It should be a wonderful issue, though. I've been meaning to publish a batch of articles that deal with the different forms of support. I didn't dream, though, that I would be able to find articles that encompassed so many different types of support: family, friends, local groups, e-groups, and conferences!

Publishing an unschooling magazine has been heartening in so many ways. I'm never at a loss for inspiration on my own unschooling journey, and I come into contact with so many wonderful people. It truly is a dream job, and I feel amazingly blessed.

This afternoon, Terry pulled up the dead tree in our backyard. Obviously, it died long before we moved in last year, but recently, it had begun to crack and split. He started to saw off the branches, then realized he could probably push it over. Yup. It didn't take much. Now, we're just left with a toppled tree to cut up and haul away (or keep for firewood - will it ever be chilly enough for fire-building?).

Kenzie has a cold, complete with fever. He's generally a very healthy child, partly due, I'm sure, to his not attending school. He's not used to feeling icky and lethargic, so he's been camped out in front of the television most of the day - Mystery Hunters, Popular Mechanics for Kids, Truth or Scare, Pokemon, etc. Children's television is amazing, now. No longer do kids (at least kids with cable or satellite) have to wait for Saturday morning cartoons. Now, even at 3 AM, there are cartoons on multiple channels! I'm not impressed with the quality of many of them, but when I was little, I loved The Smurfs, so I really can't complain. I still don't understand the rules for replacing words with "smurf" or "smurfy." Were there rules? The grammarian in me wants to know!

George

2005-07-08T21:39:00.000-07:00

For the past two nights, a possum has visited our house to feast on the cat food I set out for the two strays who have decided to live on our porch. Both nights when I walked out, all three were happily sitting next to each other. And, each night, the possum looked at me (maybe two feet away) and continued eating, glancing up at me every so often. Then, he slowly turned and ambled away. Strange behavior for a possum, and strange for the cats, as well. They must be used to him.... I wonder how long he's been around? He's certainly not afraid of either them or me - something I've never witnessed before.

My first encounter with a possum? Once, when I was a child, my mother, brother and I returned from a shopping trip, and my mother was unable to find her key. As she searched her purse, her eyes met those of a rather large, gray animal. She began pounding furiously on the door, screaming, "Let me in! There's a rat! A giant rat!" When my father finally opened the door, he laughed. Yes, it was only a possum. None of the three of us had ever seen one.

Since then, she's taken to feeding them (along with the many stray cats) every night. Even after years of feeding, though, they would never stick around if she were anywhere near them. This guy is different. Hopefully, he's smart enough to stay away from most other animals and people. I mean, most humans aren't too happy to see a possum on their porch, and most stray male cats aren't happy to share their food.

I think I'll name him George. Of course, he could be a she, but I've always liked the name George for a girl even more than for a boy.

Reading tarot

2005-07-03T22:41:00.000-07:00

Kenzie's begun reading tarot cards. He often brings them up to the kitchen to look through the beautiful illustrations. We have three decks, and he likes to spread them out and choose his favorites. The other day, though, he wanted to learn how to read them. Since I don't know the cards well enough to read them, much less teach anyone else how to read them, I got out a how-to book, and we sat down and read each other's cards for a few hours - a very basic spread: past, present, future. He would read the descriptions verbatim, and then we'd talk about what each meant, and how the three meanings were connected.

I marked the book with tabs labeled coins, cups, etc., so he could easily find the card description he needed. Today, he read cards for every member of his family: me, his father, his uncle, his grandmother and grandfather, and even their basset hound, Layla. He's memorized the meanings of several of the cards, already, and doesn't need to look them up. I wouldn't say he's clairvoyant, but he's certainly having fun.

Lots of things....

2005-06-26T19:22:00.000-07:00

Alaska, our funky-looking dog (I've never been able to explain him to people, unlike Oscar, who simply looks like a 45 pound dachshund), has been itchy lately, and his usually pinkish belly has been closer to red. Yes, he's been sunburned. He likes to lie on his side out in the sun, but no more. He's mostly white (with gray, black, and brown splotches), so his skin is easily burned, and the summer sun didn't take long to make its mark. Ah, Texas....

Kenzie has discovered that he loves hummus on whole wheat pita bread. No lettuce or tomatoes, of course, but this is still quite a step for him. He's also found he loves strawberry icees (made with only strawberries and ice). He's always thought he hated strawberries. I acquired an old blender the other night, so we had to put it to the test. I have to admit, for a girl who's never owned a blender before, I made a mean icee - just the right combination of fruit and ice. You've got to be proud of the little things....

A quick stop at the Half Price Books yesterday netted an armful of wonderful clearance books - another Smelly Old History book, This is a Book About Time, a few books about different sorts of pyramids, The Klutz Book of Magic, a few animation books, books on UFOs, ghosts and aliens, etc. We waked away with a heavy bag for about $10. Oh, how I love used book stores.

I've begun another journal for Kenzie. I kept one faithfully for over a year, but when it was filled, I sort of stopped writing about his days. Every few weeks, I'd get all motivated and journal for a few days, but it never really "took." This time, I've tried something different. I have an oversized, spiral-bound journal (another Half Price Books find I've had sitting around the house for a while), and I'm writing all over it, not worrying about the lines, using strange handwriting, decorating the pages, and drawing in many different colors. It's a lot more fun for me to write, and I'm sure it will be more fun for Kenzie to read one day (he's not too interested, now). I jot down all the events of his days - which friends came over, what books he read, cool dinners or snacks, places he went, the things we discussed, the games he played, the TV shows he watched, etc. I keep it on my desk, and each time I sit down at the computer, I write a few things and draw a bit. Well, doodle, really. So far, so good.

Binkies

2005-06-15T22:02:00.000-07:00

Kenzie fell in love with his binky immediately. When he was only a few days old, I realized he wanted to suck 24/7, awake or asleep. So, when he wasn't nursing, he was sucking on a pacifier. As he grew, he became no less attached to his binkies, and I made sure I carried several in my purse, just in case. When he couldn't find a binky (they have a nasty habit of getting lost), he would chew holes in his shirt collars, bite his nails, or chomp on small toys.

He is simply a very oral child. He is always talking, eating, or sucking/chewing on something. His mouth is constantly in motion. When he was a newborn, nursing was painful. He had no problems latching on, my nipples weren't cracked or sore, I wasn't infected, and still, it was one of the most painful things I've ever done. I would get myself and Kenzie totally ready to nurse, his head a few inches from my breast, and beg anyone who happened to be around to push his head toward me; I simply couldn't bring myself to do it. I searched breastfeeding books for any mention of the pain I was experiencing, but no luck. Eventually, my mother, who had nursed three children, herself, watched Kenzie nursing and gasped. He was a voracious nurser; she had never seen anything like it. No wonder I was in such pain, she said. Luckily, by the time he was six weeks old, I had become numb, and all was well.

When he first ate bananas, having had nothing but breast milk until then, I thought he didn't like them. He screamed after each bite. After a minute or two, though, I realized he was upset because the spoonfuls weren't coming quickly enough. There was a moment between each bite when his mouth wasn't filled with food. So, I shoveled it in, and he was happy.

A few months later, while he was eating Cheerios, he began choking. I hit his back several times, but nothing happened. Finally, I had to put my finger down his throat to clear the cereal out. During all this, coughing and sputtering, he was still stuffing Cheerios into his mouth, chewing them, and trying to swallow.

Even now, when not chewing his binkies, he still uses the sucking motion of a baby. But, he does often chew them, and, unfortunately, the only type of binky that isn't immediately destroyed by his voracious sucking and chewing has been discontinued. We have one left. There are occasionally a few offered on eBay, but they're becoming more and more difficult to obtain. So, within the past year, he's discovered thumb-sucking, though he's not too enamored of it. He prefers to chew on small toys like those little, black Bionicle bits.

Tonight, Kenzie and a neighborhood friend were talking to two teenagers across the street. She told them, for some reason, about his binky, and he fervently denied her accusation. "When I was three or four!" he yelled. "No! I've seen you with it! What was that thing in your mouth, then?" He was upset and called her a liar several times. He didn't want these kids to know.

Over the years, children have called him a baby. Over and over. But, that never bothered him (or me) as much as the way adults act when they see an older child with a pacifier. They say, "Aren't you too old for a pacie? Suckers are for babies; are you a baby? Get that dirty thing out of your mouth! Don't you know those will ruin your teeth?" Some try to take it from him. Others give him dirty looks. Almost all of them give me dirty looks.

It amazes me that grown people think it's okay to treat a child that way - to tease him. A child they don't know! A child who happens to be standing in line with them at the grocery store or library. Is this normal? Usually, we tell people that it's something he enjoys, and we see no reason to get rid of it. Sometimes, though, we just ignore them.

Nothing helps soothe Kenzie during times of stress more than having something on which to suck and chew. Binkies are comforting to him. How dare anyone judge a seven-year-old boy who has figured out the best way to comfort himself....

Sigh....

Foiled, again

2005-06-14T22:55:00.000-07:00

After spending about an hour on a blog entry (mostly about The Adventures of Shark Boy and Lava Girl in 3D), the power mysteriously clicked off for a few seconds, and all was, of course, lost. This little setback mirrors the week I've had, and I probably shouldn't press my luck by trying again. I know when I'm beat. Time for bed.

Stress

2005-06-08T22:47:00.000-07:00

For the past few weeks, Kenzie's been very edgy, very stressed. Small things are just enough to set him off - a toy that doesn't work correctly, a wrong look, a long errand. Usually, these things roll off him easily, but recently, it's been difficult for him.

For several years, we didn't know that he was allergic to soy. Soy causes Kenzie to become extremely aggressive. It was a difficult time for both Kenzie and me, but we made it through, finally discovering the root of the problem. As I've said before, though, this deserves its own entry, and I still plan on writing it; I just have to find the time and the courage.

In any case, this was great preparation for what I believe is a normal part of his growing up. He's seven years old, and he's learning so much. He has new teeth pushing out the old. He's growing taller. He's becoming more and more empathetic. He's maturing. No wonder he's been stressed, recently.

Today in a grocery store, he was becoming restless, so he pulled out a small radio/compass I had just given him a few hours earlier (compliments of my lurking on a freebie site). Of course, it broke almost immediately. In the peanut butter, tea and salad dressing isle, he yelled, "This damn stupid radio!" Oh, the looks I got. Nobody portrayed any concern for Kenzie (of course); they simply raised their eyebrows in my general direction. I sat down on the floor and pulled him into my lap. We talked about the radio, how it was cheaply made, and how the compass still worked. Soon, he had calmed down. Thinking back, I can't count the number of times I've sat down in the middle of a crowded grocery store to cuddle with Kenzie, and only in writing this sentence does it seem strange.... Probably, passers by stare at us. I guess it would seem a little odd. I hadn't really considered that before....

In any case, Kenzie was soon feeling better, and we continued shopping. This has been happening for a while, now. Having to learn, when we were dealing with soy, about what works when he's stressed has helped immensely. This is small potatoes, in comparison, and I know that stopping the world for him, just for a moment, and sitting with him quietly can make all the difference. It is through adversity that we find strength. Who said that? Or did I just summarize several quotes? I have no idea. But, I do know that my understanding of how to be the calm in Kenzie's storm is one of the greatest gifts I can offer my son.

What We've Been Doing

2005-06-02T15:03:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, it seems as if nothing really happens for days or weeks on end. Well, nothing of importance. We've just been living our life, cruising along without too much thought. Perhaps that's a good sign.

Kenzie has been focusing his energies on playing with Bionicle (we found several pound's worth at a thrift store for a few dollars), swimming with his friend, exercising on our new (well, new to us) stepper machine, reading Greek mythology books, organizing his various trading cards, wrestling with the dogs, creating and drawing fantasy characters, etc. We've had lots of discussions, of course: presidents, polio, vaccinations, muscles, blood oxygenation, allergies, local wildlife, pet care, etc. Those are the conversations I can come up with off the top of my head. There have been many, many others, of course.

I've been rearranging the books after finding another large bookcase (much sturdier than our other bookcases). We'd run out of space (again). This one became a Kenzie bookcase, and it's set up with history/mythology books, his Magic School Bus collection, Calvin and Hobbes and Bloom County, and large/heavy books, as well as a shelf of games and a few cool toys (an iguana puppet, a stuffed tiger named Hobbes, and a small Sphinx statue). It looks quite cool in the living room, and now he can actually flip through his books, rather than wrenching them out one by one.

My parents and youngest brother rescued a basset hound last week, but unfortunately, the dog doesn't like being around children. Kenzie was devastated. Hopefully, she'll come around, eventually, but for now, we're trying to introduce Kenzie to her slowly and cautiously. She seems to view him as a threat, and we're not too sure how to fix the situation. She is wonderfully sweet, otherwise, and very laid back (read "lazy").

The deadline for submissions came and went, and I'm excited about choosing articles for issue six. This is perhaps the most enjoyable part of putting the magazine together - reading through submissions, deciding where each article will go, etc. I'm also considering devoting a few pages to summery pictures of unschooling kids.

Clash of the Titans

2005-05-23T21:15:00.000-07:00

Last night, Kenzie and I stayed up late to watch Clash of the Titans. When I was his age, it was my favorite movie (mostly because of the clockwork owl and Pegasus, of course). I knew nothing of Greek myths. To me, it was just a fairy tale with scary monsters. But, Kenzie knows most of the Greek myths by heart, and he was kept busy weeding out the many, many inaccuracies in this retelling. We finally decided the filmmakers took only the basic characters and pretty much wrote their own myths. It was fun, nonetheless.

Apparently, there's also a board game based on the movie. I'll have to keep an eye out for it.

Happy

2005-05-20T22:12:00.000-07:00

Kenzie saw a Sylvan commercial today. He called to me, "She should be happy because he's happy - not happy because of what his report card says." Ah, unschooling....

We also saw a male eastern tiger swallowtail butterfly today - a giant and graceful creature that stunned me for a moment.... Compared to the small, pale butterflies we usually see, this one was exquisite. Which reminds me: we have fireflies. For the first time since I was a child, they've been lighting up the dusk with their random, star-like blips. I don't know where they went, but I'm glad they're back.

Teachers

2005-05-18T00:52:00.000-07:00

"So, you're not his teacher, then...."

Well, yes I am. He learns many, many things from me. He asks me questions, he discusses things with me, he debates me. We talk. A lot. I bring him things I think will interest him. I keep an eye out for books, movies, websites, articles, games, magazines, exhibits, and people to feed his passions. He assumes I will do these things for him. He knows I will use the power I have as an adult to make the world more accessible to him. Yes, I am his teacher.

But so is every person he meets, the neighborhood pool, our community, the pets we own, the Internet, the books he reads, the artwork he sees, every insect that catches his interest, the music that surrounds him, trees, television, dirt, stores, every place he visits, every thing he notices.

Teachers are everywhere. In fact, my son, himself, is a teacher. . .an amazing, inspiring teacher.

Reading Oz

2005-05-14T19:44:00.000-07:00

Time for a rant....

For the past year and a half, Kenzie and I have been reading a chapter or so from L. Frank Baum's Oz series each night before bed. We've gone off on other tangents for a few weeks at a time, but for the most part, this has been our bedtime reading for quite a while. We've finally finished each of the Oz books (as well as The Life and Adventures of Santa Clause, which we read this past Christmas), and decided to read his great-grandson's book Dorothy of Oz, published in 1989. Uggh.

Roger S. Baum's Dorothy of Oz

Roger S. Baum's Dorothy of Oz fails in several ways. It seems to be written for those who have only read the first book (or perhaps seen the movie). For some reason, Dorothy lives in Kansas with her aunt and uncle, though in the series, she has lived in Oz with them for quite some time. The book focuses on the three main Oz inhabitants found in the movie: the Cowardly Lion, the Scarecrow, and the Tin Woodman. However, instead of each of these characters being well-developed, as they were over the course of more than a dozen Frank Baum books, they are shallow caricatures of their movie selves. The book even tries to tie in the Wicked Witch of the West who hasn't played a part in any of the stories since the first. Roger Baum continues to refer to things that have happened over the series, presumably for the faithful readers, but this rarely works well. The information sounds silly to those who have read the series and extraneous to those who haven't.

That's not my biggest problem with the book, though. The writing is terrible. Instead of reading an Oz book, it feels as though we're plowing through a Magic Treehouse installment. The book is written "down" to readers. The sentences are short, the use of pronouns is sparse, and the content is shallow. Heaving a rather heavy sigh, I'll pull out the book and give a few examples:

With nothing leading up to this: "Meeting a court jester the next morning was the last thing Dorothy expected. 'Hello, my pretty princess,' said the Jester...." It just goes on, never describing the setting. (Where are they? Seems to be on some road, somewhere.)

and

"The room was large. It also had a table and chairs made of gold. The chairs had purple velvet cushions."

and

"The Jester made them disappear. He is dangerous and fears nothing. The Jester was a good person, but he found the Witch's wand and its evil overtook him. Now he is almost as bad as the Wicked Witch of the West. The Jester's power lies in the magic wand the old Witch used. ..."

and

"Dorothy ran to the chair. Toto was nowhere in sight. Then Dorothy looked down. On the chair's pillow sat a little dog made of china. Dorothy picked the dog up. It was Toto."

These examples were all from chapter three, which we read tonight. (Heaving another long sigh....) Why do authors write children's stories like this? Don't children enjoy well-written prose? Of course they do. This is simply another instance of the slow dumbing-down of American society (well, that and riding on Great-Grandaddy's coattails). One point in this book's favor, however: Elizabeth Miles' illustrations are gorgeous.

I'll admit, Frank Baum's series was not the best-written work in the English language, and it was rather formulaic, but it wasn't written in what amounts to baby-speak. He didn't assume his readers needed simple, short sentences, easy-to-follow plot lines, or stereotypical children's imagery (a land made out of candy, anyone?). I can truly recommend Frank Baum's collection (start with Lisbeth Zwerger's beautifully illustrated version of Baum's The Wizard of Oz). You won't be disappointed.

The Wizard of Oz illustated by Lisbeth Zweger

Unschooly Updates and Finding Our Muse

2005-05-11T19:37:00.000-07:00

Math update:

Today in the car, Kenzie and I were discussing the magazine. I told him that after we've got a year's worth of back issues, we'll bundle them and sell them for $30, as opposed to the $39 it would take to buy them individually. He decided to compare two buy-each-back-issue-separately orders and two bundled orders. He added 39 plus 39 in his head, and within four or five seconds, came up with 78. Then, he said, "That's $18 more! You shouldn't bundle them. We need the extra money." So, we talked about how much people are willing to pay for things, etc. We also talked about why the prices are set as they are, and how that relates to the number of advertisers we have, the number of subscribers, and the costs associated with printing and mailing.

It's nice to watch as he discovers more and more about math. He has never done a workbook page, and the closest he's gotten to a math textbook is Anno's Math Games volumes 1-3. He was never overly interested in them, but I keep them on a bookshelf, just in case. I think they're cool. He plays lots of board and card games, and he's always asking questions about math when it comes up in his life, which ends up being more often than I had expected. He also enjoys messing around with our place value board (like a simplified abacus that reflects the way numbers are written). Math is exciting and fun for him. It's enjoyable. It's not drudgery.

A place value board

Grade level:

Today, Kenzie asked about his grade level. I told him I really didn't know. His neighborhood friends told him that he would be in first grade (he thought he'd be in seventh, since he's seven). Apparently, the friends then discussed at what grade levels they could read. Truthfully, I have no idea what Kenzie's reading level is. He reads smoothly and with wonderful inflection, using what appears to be a "whole language" approach, the way most adults do (we don't sound out each word as we read). When he gets to a word he doesn't know, he attempts to sound it out half-heartedly, and then goes on. Mostly, he gets them right, but not always. As he gains more experience in the world and encounters more things, he'll become familiar with more and more words.

Currently, he reads a few hours a day, though sometimes more, and sometimes not at all. He can devour a novel (Harry Potter, for instance, or other fantasy books) in a day or an afternoon, if he's really into it. We talked about why he might be more comfortable with reading than some of his friends are: he gets to read whatever he likes, whenever he feels like it. And for the most part, the books he chooses to read just wouldn't be found in a first grade classroom (though we do have a lot of beautiful picture books). So, even those kids who want to read the things he reads wouldn't have the opportunity in school, and by the time they get out of school, they don't want to sit quietly. They've been doing that all day. So, they stick with the easy readers and SRA during class.
________________________________________________

At the library today, we discovered MUSE magazine, which ended up being much different from what I had pictured. It's interesting and usually well-written with engaging articles. We checked out several back issues and have been perusing them all evening. Highly recommended.

A Professor of Poetry

2005-05-09T22:08:00.000-07:00

When I was in my first few years of undergraduate school, I attended my hometown college. I had already decided to explore my passion for writing poetry in an academic setting (a decision I now question), and took a few classes with the resident "poet." He was well-respected and was eventually given a symbolic title by the state usually reserved for at least better-than-average poets.

That said, when I took his classes (the first a workshop, and the second a course on modern poetry), he made it very clear he didn't like me much. I didn't know why. I still don't. Each poem he returned to me, though, was marked over with very harsh criticisms and no kind words. I glanced at the poems of others in the class (mostly about butterflies and dolphins and kittens - not that there's anything wrong with these, but...), and saw remarks such as "Beautiful!" and "Very moving!" and "Nice imagery!" The remarks on my paper focused on individual phrases and were not positive by any stretch of the imagination. I tried to convince myself that the difference in grading had something to do with my talent (a hard sell, as I didn't really believe I had talent, at the time). However, he never gave me any indication that he thought I had potential, or that he enjoyed my work.

During class, he talked often about the books he'd published, and he seemed quite proud of his career (to put it lightly). I was so upset with his treatment of me, though, that I never read his work. I didn't want to give him that satisfaction. Perhaps it was silly, but I couldn't bear it. I didn't want to know how wonderful he was, how much better he was than I.

Tonight, I found a (signed) copy of one of his books (a collection) at a Goodwill store. I've never actually seen one for sale before, so I picked it up. It's ten years later, now, and I realize I should have read it much, much earlier. It was awful. Truly awful. There were good phrases here and there, and sometimes I'd run across a comparison that really grabbed me, but for the most part, it was almost laughable.

Would I have felt the same about his writing ten years ago? Who can tell? I've read quite a bit between then and now, and I've written lots more. Maybe I would have admired it. He certainly did. Had I been unimpressed then, however, I would have missed the one thing I took away from his classes. He once said that a poem needed an anchor; it needed something to which the reader could personally relate. It might be nothing more than a salt shaker on a table, but the reader will hold onto that salt shaker. That's the poem's anchor. It was the most profound (and simplistic) piece of advice about writing I've ever been given, and I am grateful for it, no matter my feelings toward him. For that reason, I'm glad I waited to read his work.

Also, interestingly, my work has taken on a regional focus over the past couple of years, much like his. Perhaps, if I had read his poems earlier, I would have begun writing about north Texas years ago. Perhaps, though, I would never have let myself focus on the area at all, trying to keep my style as far from his as possible. Who knows? In any case, I've begun to understand how much the notion of respect plays into the "teacher/student" relationship.

I think about this experience when I watch Kenzie learn from others in his life. Instead of learning from people simply because they are respected in their fields or happen to be employed by an educational facility, Kenzie chooses from whom he wants to learn things based on how he feels about the teacher and her or his work. He chooses to have Terry teach him things about painting and metalwork because he admires his creations. He chooses to talk to his uncle, Sean, about mathematical concepts because he sees Sean's love and enjoyment of math. As he grows, I think it will be difficult for him to accept a "teacher" based on blind faith. Just because a person is listed in the Fall Schedule doesn't mean she or he is the person who should teach him. I'm betting he'll be quite a bit more discriminating than I was. And, if he decides to take a class on poetry, I'm almost positive he'll actually read the teacher's work before enrolling! Thank goodness.

Math, Puppets, and Grown Unschoolers

2005-05-09T20:03:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, Kenzie and my youngest brother, Sean, were playing a "bet you can't answer this one" game. Kenzie had me come up with questions for Sean (mostly trivia stuff), and Sean asked Kenzie addition problems. Here's a particularly interesting exchange:

Sean: "What's three thousand, four hundred plus three thousand, four hundred?"
Kenzie: "Six thousand, eight hundred."
Sean: "Okay, what's three thousand, four hundred plus three thousand, four hundred plus three thousand, four hundred?"
Kenzie (Thinks a moment) "Nine thousand, twelve hundred."
Sean: "Close, but that's not a real number. It's really ten thousand, two hundred."
Kenzie: "I know, because nine thousand plus one thousand is ten thousand, plus two hundred is ten thousand, two hundred."

He also told us that three three thousands is nine thousand and three four hundreds is twelve hundred. He seems to have this figured out fairly well. I had no idea he could do that.

Saturday night, we traveled to San Antonio to see an old friend who is a puppeteer. He showed us several life-sized puppets, and Kenzie worked the controls and made them talk using different accents. After the long trip in the car, the lack of sleep, and the chance to perform, Kenzie was more wound-up than I've seen him in years. He could hardly stop talking (and singing, and running, and jumping, and screaming, and acting, and dancing) long enough for our friend to get a word in edgewise.

Terry and I have missed this guy for so long, and we're working on getting him to move down to our area. He's an amazingly talented artist, and he and Terry feed off each other's creativity. He's great with Kenzie, and he's a fun guy to be around. He's also intelligent, aware, concerned, kind, and helpful - someone we'd be blessed to have in our lives. Hopefully, we'll win him over in the next few months, or so.

We also met and ate dinner with a young man who worked for the same puppet company and happened to be an unschooler. He and I talked at length about unschooling magazines and about stage lighting (a passion of both mine and his). It was wonderful to meet a grown unschooler, and I have to admit to being impressed by his articulate nature and the interesting path he has chosen to follow. I like to see people pursuing what they love. I wish it happened more often.

Stacking the Odds

2005-05-03T21:21:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, I'm not proud to be a Texan.

Doodlebugs and FlimFlam

2005-05-03T20:17:00.000-07:00

Well, two days and a new compressor later, all is well. Turns out there was nothing the air conditioner guy could do, so the unit was replaced. Again, at least for the moment, renting is a happy thing. And the kitchen sparkles - an added bonus.

As usual this time of year, we're being overrun by doodlebugs (rolly pollies, pill bugs, etc.). They're everywhere. Kenzie collected several yesterday, filling a jar with moist dirt and leaves. He called them his "pets for a day." After watching them for a while and researching a bit, we let them go.

Today, Kenzie and I played a new game we picked up at a thrift store: FlimFlam, a trivia game in which you either state a fact as written on the card, or change it up and bluff. Other players have to decide whether or not you're telling the truth. Kenzie loved it, so we played for over an hour. Very cool stuff. So many of the facts surprised us, and we spent quite a long time looking them up later (who knew there was such a thing as a sea hedgehog (actually, as we found out, just another name for the sea urchin)?). And, this is a trivia game where you don't have to know lots of trivia in order to do well; you only need to be able to tell when another player is bluffing! Highly recommended.

Kenzie spent the afternoon playing campout with his neighborhood friends. Apparently, this involves lots of Pokemon and Yu-gi-oh cards, as most serious campouts do.

Why I Clean 2 (and Snakes!)

2005-05-01T19:53:00.000-07:00

Our air conditioner is broken. We hadn't turned it on yet this year, and when we finally did a few days ago, we found it only blew room temperature air. Blech. So, tomorrow morning, someone will be here to fix it. I have to admit, there is a perk to renting; this repair is not on our dime, thank goodness.

Of course, I have a quirk that won't allow me to have "guests" over unless the house is in pristine condition. Terry laughs at my frantic cleaning when I learn someone is coming to visit. For instance, a friend whom we haven't seen in years is coming next weekend, so I've drawn up a cleaning schedule in my head. I've finished the living and dining rooms. Next, it's on to the bedrooms and computer room. Finally, I'll do the bathrooms and kitchen (those are best to leave until last, since they get dirty again so quickly).

It's not that my house is an utter mess. Heck, it's not even cluttered. But, it's not perfect, and this bothers me. I keep thinking the guest is taking stock of all the imperfections: "Oh, there's dust on that shelf, and there's some dog hair on the floor, and look - her desk is covered in paper!" I know this is my own strange hangup, so I don't ask anyone else to clean with me, but I'm sure I annoy Kenzie and Terry a bit by running behind and passionately picking up after them.

And, you guessed it, I've got to clean for the air conditioner repair person. I've cleaned the backyard where I know s/he'll be. Tonight, I'll clean the kitchen and sweep the floors. That should do the trick. I can close the doors to the bedrooms, the computer room, and the bathroom.

Is this normal?

Probably... not.

It does, however, force me to do a mad cleaning every so often, and that's probably good. Between visitors and my bouts of procrastination (see earlier post), I should end up with a fairly clean house. I do think better and feel calmer when the house is clean, so I'm not really complaining.

Kenzie found a small snake today, but it slithered away before he could call to me to bring a camera. We think it was a juvenile gray eastern hognose, but aren't completely sure. Looks like we need to add another field guide to our ever expanding library. I've found the bird field guide immensely helpful. We bought it a few years ago after Kenzie and I became interested in a pair of crested cara caras and spent a few months observing them from a distance. We use it often to identify birds we see around or those that we rescue. Hopefully, though, I won't find the snake guide nearly as necessary. We'll see....

Okay, off to scrub down the kitchen....

Why I Clean....

2005-04-30T20:59:00.000-07:00

Today, I procrastinated. Yes, I walked away from PageMaker, cursing, and went, instead, into the living room to oil the wood furniture. Mind you, this is something I never do. I dusted, oiled, and polished the tables, the couch (a beautiful wooden futon, actually), the piano, the bookcases - everything. Then, I went outside and washed the siding on the front of the house - scrubbed it, and sprayed it down, and scrubbed it some more. I cleaned the back yard. I cleaned the dining room. I did the dishes. I made a trip to Lowes for some replacement swingset/fort equipment. I called my mother. I cooked. I spot cleaned the carpet.

And I still hate PageMaker.

I know enough to get by with the program usually, but I don't know enough to figure out what's wrong when things don't go smoothly. This annoys me.

Kenzie started the day playing with his friend across the street. She's sweet and interesting, and she and Kenzie happen to be about the same age. The two of them usually get along fairly well, though they both feel things intensely, so there are the occasional blow ups. Today, however, was worse than usual. Her friend came over to spend the night, and they immediately formed a two-person clique, telling Kenzie they wanted to play alone, running away from him, keeping their distance, whispering secrets, telling him they didn't want to be near him, yelling at him to "Go away!" He was heartbroken and told this to his friend's father and the girl's mother (who was still there visiting). He cried. He rode past them again and again on his bike, wiping tears from his eyes.

So, we talked about cliques, about how schools aren't healthy places for children to be, so they form exclusive groups to make themselves feel like they belong. But to do this, they also have to keep people out. That's just the way cliques function. It was difficult for him to wrap his brain around the idea. We talked about the difference between people getting together naturally, because they like each other or they have something in common, and people being thrown in together whether they like it or not, having to prove themselves over and over every day. We talked about the ways schools rank kids. We talked about emotional survival.

The conversation lasted a long time, and he seemed to understand it as well as an unschooled seven-year-old can. Hopefully, things will be back to normal tomorrow.

Kenzie spent the evening eating spaghetti and watching his father etch glass and stones. He's looking forward to being able to etch something himself the next time they pull out the equipment.

One of Terry's (older) etchings:
a wolf pawprint on a small geode

Tennis, Anyone?

2005-04-27T19:29:00.000-07:00

Kenzie and I walked to one of our neighborhood parks today, armed with tennis rackets and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. He's been aching to play on the courts since we bought the rackets and balls at a local thrift store, and the weather today was simply gorgeous - not a cloud in the sky. We were prepared to find the courts locked, as they often are (if the door closes, it automatically locks - you'd think the city didn't want anyone playing there! But, of course, this is the same city that keeps water in the pool at this park all year long, even during the winter. By springtime, the ripples are just calling to you to jump in, but it's all locked up). Luckily, the last people to use the courts had wedged a brick in the door, so we were able to play.

For the next few hours, we hit the ball back and forth to each other, sometimes across the net, sometimes not, sometimes with a normal tennis stance, sometimes using the rackets like golf clubs. We chased the balls around the court and bounced them on our rackets. We ate our sandwiches, bananas, and apples, drank our water, and kept on playing. And kept on playing. And.... Well, you get the idea.

My joints ache and my face is still bright pink. Kenzie fared a bit better than I did, but he's still got more than a healthy glow. I need to put the sunscreen next to the door so we'll remember it next time. No hurry, though. My muscles need to heal a bit, first.

Handcuffing Children

2005-04-26T22:58:00.000-07:00

I've been watching the unedited videos of the five-year-old girl who was handcuffed at a Florida school after a tantrum. I'd seen snippets, but decided I needed to find a more complete version. I don't trust the media to edit the tape fairly.

Initially, I saw very little in the child's behavior that should cause much concern. She simply tore up paper, pulled a few pictures off the wall, stood on a table, and, with very little force or passion, tried to hit the assistant principal. I saw nothing I would consider out of the ordinary behavior for a five-year-old. She was upset, and she was showing it the way many children that age do.

When I watched the longer, unedited videos, I began to sympathize with the girl even more. No one took her seriously. No one asked her what was wrong, how she was feeling, what she needed, what would help calm her down. No one. Over and over, she was told, "That's not acceptable," and "Clean up your mess," and "Don't touch me," and "That makes me sad," and "No."

Nobody ever tried to understand this child. Instead, they spoke down to her, patronizingly.

It's no wonder she finally spun a little out of control.

But really, being the mother of an intense child who has a food allergy that caused pure, unadulterated rages for three years until we discovered the source (a topic for a later blog entry and possible article), I know that this tantrum, on a tantrum spectrum, so to speak, was slight. It barely registered. This child was not raging. She was wanting someone to listen to her, plain and simple. And no one did. Instead, they cleared the classroom of other children and videotaped themselves berating her.

And from many of the polls I've seen, a good number of people are in favor of handcuffing children who "misbehave" in school. It boggles my mind. Instead of drug counseling, we should send addicts to jail. Instead of setting up programs for teens, we should throw them in juvie. Instead of talking to small children, finding out what's wrong, and fixing it, we should have three uniformed police officers who are not trained to work with children slap handcuffs on them and push them into a patrol car. Our society is degrading faster than I had imagined.

Children deserve respect. They deserve to be surrounded by people who will listen to them. They deserve to be treated with kindness. This child will, undoubtedly, have a lot to work through. I hope she is strong. After watching her on these tapes, I suspect she is.

Taking Back the 'Hood

2005-04-25T22:30:00.000-07:00

Kenzie is sleeping. We co-sleep. Always have. So, he's sprawled across Grandma Chapman's old iron bed under a giant patchwork velvet bedspread we picked up at a yardsale for $3.00. There's something about a sleeping child that infuses me with a sense of calmness that I don't always feel. He's safe.

Crashed out with Blackie

We know most of the people on our block, but not overly well. I make it a point to say hello to everyone I see, to spend a lot of time outside, and to initiate conversations with other neighborhood parents. I want to make this neighborhood safe for everyone. Is it too 1950s-ish to want my neighborhood to be a small, close-knit community of people who genuinely care about each other? Maybe. But I refuse to get with the times. I want every child to know that my home is open to her/him in any emergency, and I want other homes to be open, as well.

I want a neighborhood where Kenzie can simply ride around on his bike, out of my sight, and play with different friends for a few hours, without me having to worry. I want a neighborhood where I can say, "Be back before it gets dark," knowing that someone on the block, sweeping out his driveway, will tell Kenzie he'd better be getting home when the sun starts to set.

I don't often contemplate the worst, but when I do, I comfort myself by thinking about making this neighborhood one in which everyone watches out for the children. Of course, shouldn't they all be like that?

A good source for learning how to change the way adults view and participate with children in neighborhoods and other communities is Stopping at Every Lemonade Stand by James R. Vollbracht. I haven't read it in several months, so it's probably time to delve in again.

We must take back our neighborhoods. Yes, there are still people around me who drive into their garages after work and never venture out, and there are a few who ignore cheerful hellos, but there are others who do lots of yardwork, or who tinker on cars with the garage door up, or who like to sit on their porches to drink iced tea during the summer months. We can get to know these people, and we can make sure they know our children. We can welcome new neighbors. We can visit elderly ones. We can offer snacks to our children's friends and ask them to take some home to their parents.

I say these things, but being the introvert that I am, I have to admit to finding it difficult to actually do them. I have to make myself look people in the eye and smile, or ask how their day has been, or let them know they're welcome in my home any time. These things are hard for me. But, I make myself approach, and the words do come out, somehow. I'm working on it.

Tonight, in bed, we counted up all the people Kenzie knows on our block. There are quite a few. Now, if we can just get to know the others. Perhaps I should bake some cookies.

Working from Home

2005-04-24T20:29:00.000-07:00

The current issue is at the printers'. I can sleep, again. Mostly, I've been lying awake at night thinking of things I need to change, things that I should do (or not do), people I need to write back, notes I need to jot down. And Kenzie has learned how best to put up with me when deadlines near - he simply repeats things over and over until I finally hear him. Eventually, I'll say, "What? You want to do what?" and he'll have my full attention. Then, I'll take a break and go with him to do this or that.

I tried to work at home a few years ago. Ignoring everything I know to be true about learning, silencing my moral side, I took a job as a senior essay grader for a New Jersey 4th grade standardized test. Yes, I did it. I'm not proud of it, but I did it. The money was good (I was a poor grad. student), and I could stay home with Kenzie. It sounded perfect - except for that whole going-against-everything-I-believe-in thing.

After the first few days, it made me physically ill to start grading every morning at 7:00 am. The papers were heart-wrenching. There were children who could barely speak English, but I had to grade them the same as the native English speakers. There were children who wrote horrible things about their home lives. There were children who wrote about how scared they were to take the test, how stressed out it made them, how they were worried because they didn't get a good breakfast that morning like Teacher told them to. There were children who wrote about being poor, living with angry uncles, and going home to an empty house. There were children who wrote about their horse riding lessons - these were the children who wrote on-topic, five-sentence paragraphs, the right number of details, the perfect length, and who used those English-class buzz words.

I graded them all: 1-5.

And Kenzie hated it. I was unavailable to him for eight hours, though I was in the same room only a few feet from him. Instead, I was making phone calls to other graders, reviewing their work, grading the "ungrade-able" essays. I was deciphering 4th grade handwriting. I was looking up song lyrics that a child had written in lieu of his essay, or Southpark quotes, or a scene from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and secretly thinking, "Good for you!"

And then, I quit. Or rather, I didn't sign on for any more sessions. I'd had all I could take.

Quite different from my current job as editor/publisher of an unschooling magazine. I can walk away from the computer whenever I like to go to the park, bake muffins, play board games, or watch my son ride around the neighborhood on his bicycle. I surround myself with people who realize that standardized tests are a sham and a misery. I read and print articles about kids being kids and learning amazing things in the process. And, I don't have to ignore my moral side; I let her shine forth. She's happy.

Cats, Cats, and More Cats

2005-04-21T21:23:00.000-07:00

I'm allergic to cats.

Yes, it's true. And we have three (along with two mixed breed dogs who live indoors and five bettas, who, admittedly, are quiet and quite content to swim around their large fishbowls). Hep is named after Audrey Hepburn because she's small, and cute, and black&white. She arrived on our doorstep, emaciated, a year ago with her tiny nursing daughters in tow. Though we found a home for one, we still have Blackie, the fearless kitty. Cars do not scare her, and this worries me. Both Hep and Blackie stay inside during the day. And, we have Incredible Cat who began living on our porch even before Hep and Blackie found us. He had lived a rough life, being kicked out of several neighborhood homes for one reason or another and getting into terrible cat fights (apparently, his eye once came out of its socket, and someone popped it back in; it's never been quite right since). I've decided, though, that deep down, he's a lover - not a fighter. He tested positive for FIV and FelV, so we keep him inside. Hep and Blackie seem immune to both, somehow.

Well, we're in the process of being adopted by another stray. This poor guy has been wandering the neighborhood for weeks. He's afraid of everything - cars, people, movement of any sort, and any cat he encounters, male or female. He's bony and hollow. He howls for food, but is afraid to come near enough to eat. He's finally become attached to me, but everything else is too frightening. I'm still thinking of a name for him, but I'm worried that we're getting in over our heads. I feel overwhelmed, sometimes, as it is. The bettas are simple, the dogs are fun, though challenging, but the cats.... Well, sneezing, coughing, itchy eyes, chin, and back, wheezing, sniffling.... These things I could do without.

Of course, when I think it over, I know I can't do without them, and I worry that they can't do without me. Well, perhaps Blackie and Hep could live with another owner, but Incredible can't. No one wants a cat this ill. The vets were astounded that I didn't want to have this "diseased" stray put down. But he's enjoying life, and he's happy and playful. And this new guy.... At the moment, I don't think he'll get along so well without me. So, there you have it. I'll be sniffling and scratching for quite a long time, by the looks of it. Truthfully, I can't envision life without them - any of them. Am I a sucker, or what?

Armful of Hep

Book Sale

2005-04-17T21:44:00.000-07:00

I wrote this Sunday evening, but mistakenly saved it as a draft instead of posting it. The wine, perhaps?
___________________________________________________________

Listening to the Flying Burrito Brothers and editing old poems has taken its toll on me. Or maybe it's the glass of cheap wine I've had. Or possibly the unschooling project I'm working on (for some reason, very draining).

Kenzie has been fighting a cold for the past few days, and has been spending most of his time indoors, recuperating. Luckily, we went to our library's used book sale yesterday morning. Of course, that's a story in itself. I have never actually gotten to a book sale the moment it opened before, and I assumed (stupidly) that we would be one of the first families there. Nope. There were thirty or forty other people waiting in a line that stretched through the parking lot. When we were finally let in and made our way to the children's section, I wasn't prepared for the intensity that greeted me. I've never seen so many women fighting over used books, scrapping and scrounging for reading material for their children. Is this a good sign, or a bad sign? I'm not sure. Silly me, I tried talking to the women around me. When I saw a book we already owned and enjoyed, I told whomever I was standing beside that it was a wonderful book if your child is interested in such-and-such. None of the women answered me. One woman, as I was going through a pile of books, waited behind me and pulled out every good book I uncovered before I could grab it. Frightening.

We spent $19.00, and Kenzie ended up with a pile of great books. He's been reading them all day. He lost his voice early this morning, and it's been driving him crazy (he's a very vocal child). Reading is something he can do without feeling the need to speak (or sing). He's made his way through the first Harry Potter book. I wonder what he'll decide on next (for some reason, this cold hasn't made him tired, and he's up up up at almost midnight).

Return of the Muse

2005-04-15T21:03:00.000-07:00

I felt inspired tonight. It happens every so often, and I rush for paper and pencil, or I search for old poems I've abandoned. But mostly, for the past two years, I haven't felt the urge to write the way I once did.

After finishing college a few years ago, I went straight to graduate school, working toward an MFA in poetry. I had a bit of raw talent and a passion for learning to craft beautiful, delicate poems. For the first few months, I was excited to be around so many published poets, so many women and men who could critique my work and whom I admired. I taught my classes, studied the big name poets, and wrote like crazy. I fell in love with the work of several female poets who used images of domesticity extensively, and I delved into the implications of elevating the everyday to the realm of the poetic. Had I been working toward a PhD, this would have been my focus. The voice of my poems was becoming more and more refined. When he wasn't with his father, Kenzie often followed me to work, hung out with me on campus, and charmed the college kids. It was great for a while.

But soon, the pressure of being creative under a deadline took over much of my life and my energy. Sure, I could write academic papers under deadlines, and these served me well, but poems were another matter, entirely. It became more and more difficult to churn out the number of poems necessary for classes, and I felt increasingly dissatisfied with their quality. I began to dread writing.

So, I quit.

I enrolled in graduate school in order to surround myself with poems and poets and a genuine enthusiasm for poetry. Instead, I ended up having to force the writing out of me, feeling guilty and inadequate. And, I racked up quite a large debt in the process.

I finished one year of a three-year program. I would have graduated next month. I haven't written more than one or two pieces in the past two years.

But tonight, I felt that spark - that wonderful, exciting, rushing spark of energy that makes me want to write. Will it come more often, now? Perhaps my muse was on an extended vacation from which she's finally returned. Maybe a welcome back party is in order.... I'll get the champagne.

A Trip to the Museum

2005-04-11T09:50:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, we planned to use Kenzie's Imax tickets to watch Forces of Nature, a film that covered volcanoes, earthquakes, and tornados. I hadn't been to an Imax in years, so this was definitely a treat. When we got there, though, we realized we had forgotten the four tickets Kenzie had won. Oops. We decided to watch the movie, anyway, and keep Kenzie's prize for another time.

We also visited the Bob Bullock Texas State History Museum to which the Imax is attached - three floors filled with exhibits on American Indians, pioneers, Santa Anna, the Alamo, annexation, the oil boom, Texas music, etc. Kenzie was especially drawn in by the maps. It was the first time he slowed down enough to wonder about things and ask questions. He lingered in the map exhibit for quite a while, and, since his father and uncle were off looking at holographic images of Texas towns, I tried to answer as many of his questions as I could. I'll admit, I don't know much about Texas history. I vaguely remember sitting through TX history class in seventh grade, but it certainly wasn't very interesting. According to the maps, Texas was, at one time, much smaller than it is today, and at another time stretched much further west and north. We talked about why this was and why Texas eventually took the shape it is now. We looked at county maps and discovered Wichita county, where we used to live, was once part of Cooke county. We looked at early maps that showed North and South America as a shifting, ubiquitous land mass as explorers and map makers slowly discovered more about it. Here are a few interesting links on Texas maps: From Republic to Statehood and the Perry Castaneda Library Map Collection.

We also talked a lot about the history of Texas oil exploration. My father is a geophysicist in the oil industry, an industry that has seen very high highs and very low lows. So, we discussed where and how oil was found in Texas, why there was so much in the beginning, and why there's little left, today. We talked about the way oil is formed (and why there have been companies who used shells and dinosaurs as their logos), and what people are doing to prepare for a time when oil is too scarce to support society's current rates of consumption.

After the museum and the Imax, we went to Half Price Books, one of my all-time favorite stores. We hadn't been on a book-buying escapade in some time, so we went a little nuts. Kenzie ended up with books on the Greek alphabet, haunted places, and natural disasters, as well as another Magic School Bus book, three history quiz books, and the Life Science Lyrical Learning set. Don't know what we'll do with the workbook that came with it, but the cassette is wonderful! Then, we visited my parents where he watched cartoons and fell asleep reading his new books. Quite a day.

Dr. Demento Day

2005-04-06T23:17:00.000-07:00

Kenzie won four tickets to the Imax theater in Austin in a local "Forces of Nature" drawing contest. He's excited beyond belief and is already planning out our trip to the movie and the attached Texas history museum. He hasn't been before, so he's counting down the days.

We spent a good part of the day listening to old Dr. Demento shows. If you're a fan, this is the site for you. A very dedicated fanatic has digitized almost 1300 shows - lots of Tom Leher, They Might Be Giants, Animaniacs, etc. I was elated to find a copy of the December 13, 1987 show. My father taped that particular show off the radio when I was eleven, and I've listened to it during Christmas time, ever since. While other people sing "Jingle Bells" and "Silent Night," I get in the Christmas mood by singing "Christmas at Ground-Zero," "Star Wars vs. Santa Claus," and "Let's Have a Drug-Free Christmas." For the past few years, I've worried about the tape slowly degrading, and I've wondered how to digitize it. Thank goodness someone has already done it for me! My only problem with the website is that each download contains three or four songs. Novelty songs aren't always a good fit for a seven-year-old, so we proceeded carefully. Still, he's been singing a few songs some of our relatives would shake their heads over. Oh, well.

I also came across an amazing Lego site this evening. Kenzie hasn't seen it yet, so I'll leave it on the computer for him to find in the morning. Wow.

Procrastination

2005-04-05T23:06:00.000-07:00

I'm listening to Gillian Welch, steeped to my ears in editing. It's amazing the problems that arise for which I can find no answers. Should the names of video games be itallicized? They're like software titles, and those are itallicized.... Hmm....

I'll admit, I've been putting off the editing. I should have started transferring my paper edits to computer last night, but I couldn't bear it. I needed to be outside. I spent quite a long time last night sitting under the tree that dominates our front lawn, barefoot, talking to the neighborhood cats and staring at the sky. 1:30 in the morning is the perfect time to pretend I'm not surrounded by neighbors who don't wave to one another when they happen outside at the same time.

Earlier this evening, it stormed. There was no rain predicted for today, but such is Texas weather. Kenzie and I watched the small hailstones bouce off the cars and asphalt, and we discussed how and why they form. Some days, I just can't get enough of the rain; I sit out on my too-small porch and watch for hours. Tonight, though, the rain ended too soon, and I was back inside the house, cleaning, reading email, editing.

A Great Day

2005-04-03T21:16:00.000-07:00

Today was the day. The training wheels came off, and Kenzie flew through the neighborhood smiling and screaming, "This is awesome!" every few minutes.

He received the Spiderman bike on his sixth birthday, almost fourteen months ago. For a while, he rode up and down the street in front of our home with the clacking of training wheels pinpointing his location. Soon, adult neighbors began asking him when he was going to ride like a "big boy." Neighborhood kids commented on his slowness. Some called him a baby. Though I tried to counter the negativity, he eventually stopped riding, and the air slowly leaked out of the tires. When we moved to our current house to be near family, a scooter handed down from his uncle replaced his bike, which sat, untouched, on our porch.

Until today. His friend's father offered to air up his tires (we don't own a pump), and Kenzie decided it was time to try bicycling without training wheels. So, off they came. His friend, an exuberant seven-year-old girl, helped him learn to push off, balance, and steer straight. I simply followed them around the neighborhood, watching for cars.

It didn't take long before he was riding without help, exclaiming about how cool it was and how well he was doing. I could barely keep up.

Sure, I could have taken the training wheels off sooner. I could have told him he was ready to learn and pushed him around until he got the hang of it. I could have interfered. But I didn't. Instead, he was able to learn on his own time, in his own way. His friend was a perfect helper because she had recently been in his place. She was insightful, and supportive, and not at all didactic. Kenzie was eager to have me watch him, but he chose her as his two-wheel mentor.

What a great day for both of them.

A bike for his birthday

Unschooling on April Fool's

2005-04-01T19:20:00.000-08:00

Wonderers sometimes ask what a typical unschooling day looks like. Often, the responses they receive aren't exactly typical. Of course, as misunderstood as unschoolers generally are, we sometimes feel the need to put on our best face for outsiders. So, the answers tend to focus on amazing field trips, ultra-cool park days, and the processes of learning those important-to-schools subjects: math, reading, etc.

Of course, we go on field trips (sometimes to museums or zoos or a recreation of 1880s farm life, but more often to grocery stores, banks, post offices, and thrift shops), but that isn't every day. Some days, we stay at home (or at least within our own neighborhood).

Of course, Kenzie learns "schoolish" things, but it's not usually a focus in his life. He doesn't often cook, a favorite exercise to convince people that math can happen through everyday life, and he doesn't read the classics on his own (though he enjoys me reading them to him). We haven't yet made a volcano with baking soda; nor have we acquired a microscope or telescope (though we're working on it). So, what do our days look like?
_______________________________________________________

Today, Kenzie woke up at 7:15 ready to play Toontown. He fished for a few minutes, played some mini-games, and then decided to defeat cogs to complete "Toon Tasks." In order to do this more easily, players team up, often putting each other on their "friends lists." Kenzie takes these lists very seriously and considers the characters true friends. Today, however, after Kenzie helped a new "friend" complete her or his task, he received a notice that he had been deleted from that player's friend list. He was distraught. How could someone use him like that? Didn't that person like him? We had a long discussion about the people behind the characters. They're especially difficult to see in Toontown because the chat is comprised of pre-made phrases, such as "Hi," and "We did it!" and "Have a nice day!" There are a few negative phrases, but generally speaking, it's difficult to discern the players behind the characters.

We realized it was April Fool's Day and decided to look up sites with good April Fool's tricks. Then, Kenzie lined up hundreds of his new superhero cards in paths throughout the house. There were paths leading into all the different rooms, into the closets, and behind the comfy chairs. Then, he would hide at the end of one of the paths and call out for me to find him. We played this game for an hour or so. When I found him, he gave me a stack of superhero cards; when I couldn't, he yelled out, "April Fool's!"

After finding Kenzie for the tenth or twelfth time, we decided we wanted to try out the new ice cream in the freezer. Kenzie read off the ice cream's description and asked why there were so many sweet things in it (chocolate ice cream with caramel swirls, chocolate-covered nuts, and brownie pieces). Was Bryers trying to get more people to buy it? We talked for awhile about the reasons companies might want to focus on consumers' tastes and interests, and we both decided that we were more likely to buy ice cream that contained things we like (such as brownies and caramel!).

Kenzie came up with a plan for an April Fool's Day party to which he'd invite his neighborhood friends once they returned from school. There would be jokes and gags and silly costumes. He designed, drew, and wrote out the invitations, and he looked through the pantry and refrigerator to find party foods, finally settling on popsicles. He pictured himself as the butler at the party and looked forward to serving his guests their choice of artificial flavors. After searching for party food, though, he decided he was hungry and made himself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on whole wheat and an apple for lunch.

During his bath, he noticed the lines and whorls on his palms and fingers and asked me about them. I told him that some people believe that you can read a person's future in their palms, and I brought out my old palmistry guide (my mother entertained visions of me working my way through college by telling fortunes part time). Eventually, Kenzie decided the lines on his palm were a mansion and a swimming pool, and his fingers were the gates to his lavish future home.

He began to get dressed for the party hours in advance. The theme of the party required Kenzie to look like a trickster, so he ravaged his costume bin for clothing that would fit the part. Eventually, he decided on this:

Somehow or another, we ended up talking about discerning the genders of birds. We discussed their colorings and markings, and Kenzie asked about the gender of a small, migratory bird we found in the mouth of a cat a few months back. We took the tiny, yellow creature to a wildlife rehabillitator and left it in his expert care, hoping for the best. We had decided that it was a juvenile orange-crowned warbler that had flown down from Canada for the winter, and Kenzie remembered how it reminded him of a canary. He asked where canaries live (other than in cages), and I told him that I was fairly certain they hail from the Canary Islands (and, amazingly, I was right). He was sure I had made the place up, so I searched the Internet for a map. We decided it would be easier to "see" it on the globe, and he brought that out. So, of course, for the next half hour, we played the "Where Am I Going to Live?" game. Kenzie's favorite future residence? The Plateau of Tibet, sometimes called "The Roof of the World." Today, I ended up landing in the middle of the ocean more often than not, and when I was lucky enough to find land, my fingers inevitably landed on either Ethiopia or the Middle East. We talked about wars, and droughts, and famines. We discussed climate, and governments, and name changes (our globe is old enough to show the U.S.S.R.). When we tired of the game, we put the globe away.

After reading an email about Homestar Runner now being a subscription service, we decided to check it out for ourselves. Ah, more April Fool's tomfoolery! "New Annual Fee! Same Content! More Banner Ads!" Kenzie was upset because he couldn't access the regular, expansive site, and he's looking forward to tomorrow when the animated characters will be up and running, again.

We then found a Lego designer's webpage and spent quite a bit of time looking through his creations. Amazing. We discussed how he creates them without ready-made designs, how many bricks the sculptures use, how he makes money (works at Legoland, sells his sculptures, custom builds sculptures, gives talks and presentations, etc.), and whether or not he enjoys his work. I'm betting that tomorrow will involve lots of Lego bricks spread out across the living room floor.

By this time, it was 5:30, and Kenzie went off in search of friends to invite to his April Fool's Day party. We had pulled out eight joke books, set up a table in the front yard, and gotten the tickets to the party ready for the partygoers (these, of course, were superhero cards). Unfortunately, none of his neighborhood friends could come over today. However, he was able to jump on a friend's trampoline for a few hours, and he came home happy and tired.

After dinner, we read a few chapters of "The Tin Woodman of Oz." This is the only book of the series we haven't finished. Kenzie and I are big Oz fans, and we dream of someday visiting the Wizard of Oz museum.

From his bed, he asked me several "what if you were" questions. "What would you say if you were a talking pebble?"

"No, no!" I answered. "Don't throw me into the lake! I can't swim!"

"Okay, what if you weren't near any water?"

"Hey! Stop stepping on me! Don't you have any respect for those smaller than you?"

He laughed and asked me several others. Then, he chose a book called This is London by Miroslav Sasek and settled back to read. He was soon asleep.

Freecycle and Unschoolish Musings

2005-03-30T21:38:00.000-08:00

Austin's Freecycle network has almost 10,000 members, so it's no wonder I've never been able to reply to offers quickly enough to get them. Today, however, was different. As fate or luck would have it, I checked the site at just the right moment, and Kenzie is now the happy owner of a shoe box filled with hundreds of superhero trading cards from the 1990s. He's gotten comfy in the bed and is reading through as many as he can before sleep overtakes him. There are hero cards, villain cards, story cards, team cards, scene cards - you name it, both Marvel and DC.

It occurred to me a few hours ago that if I were keeping track of his academic accomplishments, I'd be happy (and a bit smug, perhaps) about all the reading that's going on. However, sometime last year, I stopped worrying so much about the way Kenzie's life translates into educationese. When journaling, I finally quit noting a school subject next to every project or undertaking or play session or book read. Tonight, I realized how freeing it is not to have to concern myself with whether he's done something science-related for the day, or whether he's been asking fewer math questions recently. We just live. And when I find something that I know will interest him (like these cards), I do what I can to get it. We play board games, not because they're educational, but because they're fun. We search for books at the library based on what he wants to know and thinks he will enjoy. There is no more pressure on Kenzie to learn than there is on me.

Anyway, he's digging through the shoe box, exclaiming every few minutes or so, asking his father who this hero is and who that villain fought. He's categorizing. He's deciding on his favorites. He's enjoying himself.

Driving by Grandma Chapman's

2005-03-28T09:16:00.001-08:00

While visiting my maternal grandmother over the holiday weekend, we drove past my great-grandmother's old home. As a child, I spent many days tromping around the East Texas pines, searching for petrified wood, riding the cow, and avoiding the outhouse at all costs. There's something magical about natural places, at least to a city girl, and I couldn't get enough of the smell of sweetgrass and the sudden summer rains.

A few years ago, I decided Kenzie (and I) needed to live in a wild place. I entertained dreams of living in Grandma Chapman's house, growing our food, canning, milking the family cow, gathering eggs from our laying hens, drinking iced tea on the porch, and generally living off the land. I pored over homesteading books, gardening books, canning books, and country living books. I scoured the Internet for information on East Texas soil conditions. I researched the pros and cons of living off the grid. I began keeping my eyes open at thrift shops for items that might be useful. I dreamed of Grandma Chapman's house, trying to remember each detail: how the kitchen was arranged, the size of the bedrooms, the area that would be my vegetable garden, whether or not the front porch could support a swing. I made lists upon lists. I was ready.

There were a few problems, though. The house was (and is) owned by my great-aunt and -uncle who rented it out to people who had no reason to want to keep it up. Because of this, the house was in shambles. Paint was peeling, wood was rotting, the barn and chicken coop were falling in on themselves.... Without a lot of cash, it would be difficult to rebuild. Also, a disturbing crime had taken place at the house while it was rented to several meth addicts. Because of this, the well where I often played as a child had been filled-in.

Under normal circumstances, I wouldn't think twice about this house. Who in her right mind would want to live there? But this was Grandma Chapman's home. This was a place that held so many memories for me - the canopy of tree branches over the road, the amazing thunderstorms, the wild spinach that grew at the end of the driveway. This was my most special place, and I wanted my son to be able to experience the things I experienced.

Of course, my memories and experiences could never be his, but I felt Kenzie was missing out on something crucial. Perhaps he was. Perhaps he is.

I decided we couldn't live there.

Do I sometimes regret the decision? Yeah. There are days when we are too involved in things that don't seem real. Some days are filled with computers and fast food and traffic jams. We find ourselves wanting every new plastic thing we see. We have to google the weather to find out what the day is like. It's not always like this. It's not even usually like this. But, even a day or two without playing in the grass, or watching things grow (even if it's only weeds in the yard), or looking at the stars can take its toll.

Driving slowly by the house this weekend reminded me of the reasons we cannot live there - at least not yet. It also made me long to be able to live there more than I ever have before. Maybe one day, after saving up for a while, I'll consider homesteading at my great-grandmother's again. Until then, we can work with what we've got - a big yard, lots of weeds to watch, Grandma Chapman's old iron bedstead, and lots of my childhood memories.

At Grandma Chapman's house

Why we unschool

2005-03-24T22:02:00.000-08:00

Came upon this website today.

If you're like me, you might have a difficult time getting through it, so be prepared.

My Neighbor Totoro

2005-03-23T21:05:00.000-08:00

We watched My Neighbor Totoro again today. Because we own the DVD, we watch it every few months, or so. The storyline is imaginative, but the children are very realistic, and the movie doesn't shy away from the characters' problems or fears. The children are portrayed honestly, and are kind with one another without being saccharine. Because they are (amazingly) treated with respect by the adults around them, I consider it one of our "unschooling movies."

For example, in one scene, Mei cannot bear to be without her older sister, and the elderly woman who is watching her brings her to Satsuki's school. The school teacher allows Mei to sit in class with Satsuki, and the other children seem to adore her.

Another movie by the same filmmaker (Hayao Miyazaki) that falls under the "unschooling movies" category is Kiki's Delivery Service - a story about a young girl who must learn to refine her witch powers. She travels to the city (sans parents) and starts her own delivery company (flying through town on her broom!). Beautifully done, just as is My Neighbor Totoro. If your children enjoy anime, you might want to check these out. Both are available with (well done) English dubbing.

Characters from My Neighbor Totoro

Boggle and Invented Spelling

2005-03-22T19:37:00.000-08:00

A few years ago, we bought an old version of Boggle at a garage sale for a quarter. Since then, it has remained, mostly, in its place on one of our game shelves. Today, we played for the first time. Well, we didn't play by the rules, and not all the words we discovered could be found in a dictionary, but we played.

Instead of competing against each other, Kenzie and I played cooperatively, taking turns, each pointing out one word per turn. There was no limit on how many letters a word had to be. The words "of" and "I" and "am" were all counted. Sometimes, the letters didn't quite touch. Other times, we rearranged the cubes to make them spell what we wanted.

We didn't "time" our efforts, though Kenzie enjoyed being "Keeper of the Hourglass." He also enjoyed vigorously shaking the plastic box.

We didn't write the words down; that would have slowed the fun. We just pointed to the letters as we read out words: TEM, JRY, MET, TYR, BARS. Invented spellings via Boggle. We played until he grew tired of it, and then put it back on the shelf.

Incidentally, if you enjoy sign language, here's a fun site to try: Boggle for Fingerspelling

Changing the Guidelines

2005-03-21T20:23:00.000-08:00

After using the weekend to consider it, I've decided to make a rather significant change to the magazine's submission guidelines. From its inception, Live Free Learn Free was meant to be a magazine for and by unschoolers. There are no recurring columnists, and we don't search out unschooling or homeschooling "experts." Instead, everyone is treated as an expert of her or his own family and experiences. Because of this, I felt that articles written in the second-person (using "you," as opposed to "I" or "s/he") would defeat the spirit of the magazine; they would be too preachy, too teachy, too you-can't-be-trusted-to-figure-it-out-on-your-own.

The more I think about it, though, the more I see that there is a place for gentle, helpful, second-person writing. Unschoolers understand that every person learns in unique ways. Certainly, many will take away more from the first- and third-person stories that have dominated our first four issues. But, just as certainly, many readers will benefit more from articles written with a how-to feel. There is room for both.

I envision the magazine offering a balance between personal narratives and second-person articles, but I know that's up to the reader-writers. I'm excited to see what happens.

Our Spinning Earth

2005-03-18T19:59:00.000-08:00

At the park today, we were searching for a spot in the shade - one that would still be in the shade in a few hours - and we started wondering why the earth spins. I assumed it had something to do with the gravitational pull of the sun, and perhaps the earth's own gravity. Sounds vague but possible, right?

Nope. After we got home, Kenzie and I checked one of our favorite sites, Ask Dr. Universe. Turns out, most astronomers believe the solar system started out as a nebula, or a giant spinning disk made of gas and dust particles. The dust particles began ramming into each other and clumping together, eventually forming planets. Because they were spinning in the beginning, they continued to spin due to lack of friction - nothing to slow them down or stop them from spinning.

Now, why were the dust particles of the nebula spinning in the first place? No one knows.

What to read more? Click here.

Comics for the Younger Crowd

2005-03-17T14:49:00.000-08:00

When Kenzie was 4 or 5, he decided he wanted comics, but he didn't want the usual ones - the scary, gory, blatantly sexual comics with storylines obviously written for adults. He wanted kid comics, but all we could find at the bookstores and local comic shops were Scooby Doo and The Simpsons (we're big Simpsons fans around here). It seemed, at the time, no one was making comics for kids.

When he exhausted those, we turned to eBay. There, we discovered Spidey Super Stories. These were a collaboration between Marvel and The Electric Company in the mid-1970s. They're adventurous stories that are less scary than the usual Spidey comics (and "Easy Reader says, 'This comic book is easy to read!'"). Lots of fun (and very dated!). These have been some of his all-time favorite comics.

Harvey comics have also become an old standby. Casper and Richie Rich have a lot to offer - years and years of silly, sweet stories - and they're usually good for a belly laugh or two.

We also collected The Jetsons, Disney comics, and (strangely enough) Alf. All of these can be found on eBay from time to time (often in huge lots). On lucky days, we might find a few in the used section of our local comic shop.

And for a while, these satisfied him, but eventually, he wanted more. Where to turn? We visited a giant comic shop in Austin and discovered that there were actually comics being made for kids - very cool comics, in fact. Comics of better quality than most others on the shelves around them. Who'dve thunk?

Our favorite is Mike Kunkel's Herobear and the Kid, After his grandfather dies, a spunky boy named Tyler moves into his grandfather's old house with his family. He's the odd-kid-out at school, and he doesn't hit it off with the bullies in his new class. (This comic doesn't paint a rosy picture of school life.) However, his grandfather left him something - a small, stuffed bear and a broken pocket watch. But this isn't just any old bear.... The drawings are simply amazing (we finally bought a Herobear poster that now hangs on our dining room wall), and the dialogue is perfect. We recommend buying the book; it's nice to have several comics all bound together.

Herobear and the Kid
______________________________________________________

Others that we love:

Li'l Red Stitch is a beautiful, imaginitive story set in Texas about a girl, her grandmother and Comanche Spirit.

Awesome Man follows a young boy who wakes up one morning as his favorite superhero, Awesome Man. The illustrations are bright and quite cute, and the amount of dialogue is perfect for those who are just beginning to read and might be a little overwhelmed by too many words on the page. A very cool comic.

Zoom's Academy for the Super Gifted is like a cuter version of X-Men. Much cuter. Summer's father is a bigwig at this school for Superheroes, and everyone expects Summer to follow in his footsteps. But Summer doesn't have any super powers... or does she?

Amelia Rules follows Amelia, a girl whose parents have recently divorced. She and her group of friends are slightly strange, often goofy, but always very realistic. There's even a Superhero club. Lots of fun!

Growing Up Enchanted is a series that explores the life of a young girl with magical powers in the land of Anywhere. Lots of knights, dragons, trolls, etc.

Patrick the Wolf Boy is a great way to introduce a young kid to comics. Simple, cute, and not overly wordy, Patrick the Wolf Boy is always fun.

Gus Beezer is a series of comics by Marvel starring Gus, a comics loving kid. There are issues about Wolverine, The Hulk and Spiderman, and in each, Gus's imagination is superb. What would it be like to be The Hulk's neighbor? What if your little sister was a potential X-Man? A great read for adults, too.
______________________________________________________

Recently, Marvel, DC and others have taken up the kids' market, again, and it's no longer so difficult to find comics for the under-teen crowd. There are kid versions of Teen Titans, Fantastic Four, etc., mostly because of the poularity of superhero movies and cartoons. I don't think they're the best quality, but for a kid who likes superheroes, they're a dream come true.

And don't worry too much about the condition of the comics you find. When shopping on eBay, you can get some great comics cheap, simply because they've been read. Buy an armful and get your kiddo a comic box (available at comic stores). They're easier to store that way. If you do have a child who likes to keep things neat and organized, pick up some plastic covers and cardboard backings. But who cares if the kids keep them in mint condition? Comics were meant to be read.

Have fun!

American Homeschool Association

2005-03-16T20:12:00.000-08:00

The American Homeschool Association has set up a series of blogs:

AHA Weblog
AHA Resources Guide
AHA News Blog
AHA Weblogs Blog
Homeschooling and Support Groups Blog

From the main AHA website:

"The American Homeschool Association (AHA), is a service organization sponsored in part by the publishers of Home Education Magazine. The AHA was created in 1995 to network homeschoolers on a national level."

I've added the main AHA weblog to the links section of this page, and from there, you can navigate to any of their other blogs. These blogs are relatively new and are growing quickly, so make sure to bookmark them. This is a great way for homeschoolers to stay connected and informed.

Jellybean Math

2005-03-15T17:41:00.000-08:00

Kenzie's new love: Toontown, a massive, multiplayer Internet game where you get to be a cartoon in a cartoon world. He's intrigued. Usually, he plays mini-games and defeats cogs with online buddies, but today, he's decided to fish. Players catch fish and sell them to the pet store for jellybeans (the money of Toontown), and he's saving up for several items for his characters - clothing, furnishings for his houses, pets, acting lessons.... Talk about a crash course in math! He has 193 jellybeans, but the clothing he wants for his toon is 250. How many more does he need?

Adam West

2005-03-15T11:54:00.000-08:00

For those of you who enjoy Lego and Batman.

(Ah, Adam West - the only true Batman....)

After watching this, Kenzie built several Lego superhero scenes. He's been calling me in every few minutes to see his new creations.

Taking a Stand

2005-03-14T21:56:00.000-08:00

Mia Kang, an articulate ninth-grade student in the San Antonio public school system, is refusing to take the TAKS (Texas Assesment of Knowledge and Skills) test. She's even considering risking her diploma over it. Why?

" Education should be about learning to think and to exercise one's intelligence in constructive and creative ways. Students in the public school system should become enthusiastic, engaged learners able to formulate their own well-considered opinions. Where is the benefit to memorizing facts and rules unless you know what they mean and what to do with them? I value understanding concepts and exploring the reasons behind events or processes."

Read her article in the Dallas News here (registration required).

Save a Spider Day

2005-03-14T18:27:00.000-08:00

While at the park, we remembered it was "Save a Spider Day," and as we searched for spiders, I told Kenzie the story of Arachne and Athena. For the past few years, one of his passions has been Greek history and mythology, and at libraries, bookstores, yard sales and thrift stores, he scouts out the best books and videos. Some of his favorites are:

· The Groovy Greeks (a Horrible Histories book) by Terry Deary (We LOVE Terry Deary and the whole Horrible Histories series)
· Top Ten Greek Legends by Terry Deary (Ahh, more Terry Deary)
· The Usborne Book of Greek and Norse Legends by Evans and Millard (A great resource - we've gone through two copies, already)
· The Adventures of Ulysses (a Usborne Library of Myths and Legends book) by Anna Claybourne (A fun retelling of The Odyssey - lots of adventure here)
· Mythology Mazes by Vladimir Koziakin (Out of print, but lots of fun - simpe mazes for many of the mythological heroes from Greece to Egypt to India)
· You Wouldn't Want to Be a Slave in Ancient Greece! by Fiona MacDonald (Why slaves had it bad, with comic-like illustrations)
· The MacMillan Book of Greek Gods and Heroes by Alice Low (Retellings of the myths)
· Greek Myths by Geraldine McCaughrean (More retellings of the myths with cutesy illustrations)
· Mythology Smart Junior: A Journey to the Land of Legend by Gary Arms (modern day kids take a magical trip to ancient Greece)
· The Traveler's Guide to Ancient Greece by Fiona MacDonald and Mike Foster (set up like a modern-day travel guide, including sections on where to stay, what to wear, going shopping, visiting a school, etc.)
· Greece! Rome! Monsters! by John Harris (This is a fun little book with whimsical illustrations by Calef Brown)
· The Gods and Goddesses of Olympus by Aliki (A good introduction to the major gods and goddesses)
· Eyewitness Books: Ancient Greece and Mythology (Eyewitness Books are always fun)
· Mythology by Edith Hamilton

Mel Torme and Gary Cooper

2005-03-13T17:26:00.000-08:00

We've been listening to Mel Torme's version of "Putting on the Ritz" recently, and Kenzie decided he likes this section:

Dressed up like a million-dollar trooper
Tryin' hard to look like Gary Cooper (super duper)
Come let's mix where Rockefellers
walk with sticks or umbrellas
in their mitts
Puttin' on the Ritz

He wandered around singing it for a few hours. Later, we talked about what the song means and looked up pictures of Gary Cooper. Kenzie was surprised that Cooper was born over 100 years ago. I highly recommend Mel Torme's version of the song - what a voice!